Enlightenment of the day: “You realise things are getting really bad when you begin to identify with articles in Woman and Home”

So, the 30 day squat challenge is actually on its second day for me, which, lemme check, is 55 squats! God, it was hard, but not too hard as I have dabbled in the squatting sections of life many atime before… (don’t get me too wrong). I could post a picture of my before and after ass, but being prone to depression, I wouldn’t like the before picture to trigger another bout (not joking!). If you’ve checked out my previous post, you’ll have found the link to what the 30 day squat challenge is all about…. (and apparently it’s already old stuff on the internet). Basically you increase your number of squats per day, until, on day 30, you have a floor tile or parquet-shattering episode related to the sudden prolapse of the intestine (don’t google this!), but on the other side, you gain a wonderful ass and you’ll even get the chance to show it off at the A&E (or ER or Pronto Soccorso). You lose some, you gain some.

As for the fast diet (otherwise known as 5:2 diet) have you checked that out yet? Well, let me sum it up. Basically you can eat like a pig for 5 days a week and then, for 2 days a week, Monday and Thursday usually, you are only allowed 500 kcals if you’re a woman, 600 if you’re a man. Apparently it has some very positive effects on your health too. The hard part for me is deciding how much I can honestly pig out on a feast day…. fast days are really no problem, cause I am the kind of person who needs to be given limits cause she (me) cannot give herself limits. I cannot give myself limits, deadlines, boundaries, rules…. no, no, no… but wait…if someone else does, I turn into a goose-stepping soldier…. honestly….isn’t that pathetic???
So I had my first fast day on Monday and it went really well. Of course I was hungry during the day, but I just drank loads of water and braved it through and at dinner time I couldn’t even eat all of the 500 calories (1 poached egg, 100 grams of smoked salmon, slice of bread, veggies with some raw olive oil)!!!! So tomorrow is my next fast day and we’ll see how it goes…. but as I said, the feats days are my problem.

My novel. Ok, so I have been working a little and writing this blog a little and doing squats and being a mum and a er… wife… a little… so my progress in my novelling section is…. I bought this amazing cork board which I am going to attach to the back of my kitchen door to keep track of the outline of my bestseller-to-be… there’s an Italian saying that goes…. “Who starts well.. is half way to getting there.”
That must be me, I am half Italian after all!

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